I originally thought that the trip from Holland to New Zealand would give me plenty of time to decide which country is better. But I should've known better. International travel is not made to be relaxing. In all, I travelled for 39 hours, and not one of them was quiet. I'm not complaining. I flew Cathay Pacific and on both flights I had asile seats (according to airline policy they gave the long-leg seats to a chinese family with 2 and 4 year old kids), and I was next to nice Chinese ladies who weren't fat. And there were quality movies and programming to distract me from asking for extra food. And my 7 hours at Hong Kong International was where I tried to catch some sleep, but I find it difficult trying to sleep in a room the size of a large city. Even when I got back, I still had no time to myself. The first thing I did back in Nelson was try and track down my passport which I had apparently lost in Aukland. It is not the first time I left my passport behind. I believe my passport has an opposite magnetic force to me. Luckily the Airline and two different Courier companies assured us that it was impossible to have my passport sent back to me.

But after the best welcome home greeting from my dog, I had to come to terms with that my holiday is over. I shouldn't be sad. As I've said many times, it will be a long time until I have a 2 month holiday again. And I've been able to do many of the things I wanted to do. Sure, I never got to travel to Paris or London, and there were many people and museums and cities that I regret not visiting. But I was able to learn to be Dutch again, and forget everything else. My Dutch language went from awkward and hesistant to just awkward. I was able to find my roots, for example; I was shown the place where I was born, but when we arrived, all that was left was a recently demolished building. And it was good to see lots of people who claimed to be related to me. As long as they fed me...

And over these two months I visited many places, and being an ex-photography student, there were many photo opportunities. As I said, it wasn't the ideal time of the year for tourists (i.e. no tulips), but then, I wasn't really a tourist. And Holland is such a beautiful country. A lot of people in Holland asked me if I didn't miss the beauty in New Zealand. Its so easy to say that New Zealand is beautiful. In fact, isn't that a slogan? And it is. We are spoiled with nature and wide open spaces, isolated beaches and rivers and mountains. Basically, everything that Holland isn't. But although the cities, dykes, windmills and polder landscapes aren't "nature", they are still beautiful.

You may have noticed the photos of windmills. I'm sorry, I am reinforcing a stereotype. Windmills are probably of French origin, but then, no symbols are really of their own country. the statue of Liberty is French, the English cup of tea is from India, and the buzzy bee is from America. But windmills are everywhere in Holland. Most people in Holland actually live in a windmill. The others live in New Zealand. And they somehow fill me with an enourmous amount of pride. Especially the windmills in Schiedam, my hometown, which has the 5 largest (and most elegant) in the world.

And here are some night photos. I always say that it is night half the time, and so you should take half of your photos then. But walking around with a deceptively expensive-looking camera and tripod at night in Amsterdam is only for the brave of heart. But it was worth it. Amsterdam is officially the capital city of Holland, but I think it may possibly be the laziest capital city in the world. The 2nd night photo is of the parliament buildings... in Den Hague.

Next we have some images of my boat trip inland through to Germany. This was such a great way to see the real Holland of rivers, dykes, bridges, boats, riverside towns and poweplants (don't worry, this is not a nuclear powerplant, it is 'clean power'). Travelling at a fast-for a-boat-but-really-quite-slow-when-compared-to-a-car 15-20kmph inland for a whole day was a strange thought. And to see all those boats with cargo of oil or cars or whatever, really allowed me to see the sheer scale of transporting of goods and the infastructure of such a highly populated country... and more windmills. Ah the pride. (never mind that these windmills were in Germany)

And so, with this lousy presentation of my photos, just as those giant windmills do, the sun sets and I wave my time in Holland goodbye. It has been a great holiday/unemployment/retirement. I was asked in my first week about whether I would ever want to live in Holland. I replied "ggggchhchggg" ("ask me in two months"), but I still don't have a proper answer. I've realised that I could live in Holland. I'm not attached to New Zealand. This may sound ungrateful, but that isn't what I mean. I will always be more a New Zealander than anything, and I love coming back here. And even if I did live in Holland, I will always be slightly foreign. And it is good to be slightly foreign.


Thanks to everyone who has been reading this weblog. I hope it hasn't changed your mind about freedom of expression and the benefits of the internet. I've enjoyed writing it, and if you have any comments/hatemail or just want to stay in touch, you can email me at ruvaman@gmail.com.

Theres a time in every holiday where you suddenly realise how little time there is, and this makes you try and take everything in and savour it because you never know how long it will be until you come back. So that is what I've been doing: making sure I eat as much Dutch cookies, cakes biscuits and lollies as humanly, or otherwise, possible. I will miss dutch baking. The Bakeries over here are so underrated. See, a bakery in New Zealand is often a place where they unwrap frozen meat pies and microwave them until they have no identifiable form, texture or meat. But a bakery over here is a thing of beauty.

Of course they make bread, and well. And the savoury breads are brilliant. From turkish breads and pizza's to cheese bread (with more cheese than bread) to croissants and Itallian style bread. Some of these can be duplicated in New Zealandese bakeries (supermarkets), but no-one can come close to Dutch cookies, biscuits and pastries. And no, I'm not talking about Amsterdamnese brownies. There are the well known speculaas (pronnounced "Spay-koo-laas", but often known as "windmills biscuits") and the classic Dutch apple pie. But There is oh so much more. And its not like mexican food where everything actually has the same taste but only looks different. For the last week or two I've made it a personal mission to have as many different baked goods. Coconut buscuits which are so tasty that you eat the baking paper. Waffles with jewelery-quality sugar crystals. Soft cookies filled with almond spice. Things with marzipan, chocolate, custard, syrup, icing, caramel... And its not like french baked goods where they just make it look pretty. If you need a good reason to visit holland, look no further.

And there is also the liquorice, which is also a way to test if someone is Dutch or not. Instead of a pledge of allegience to the queen, at the naturalisation ceremony they just hand out some liquorice. (This is the reason my luggage is so heavy. I'm smuggling a few kilos of the stuff).

But since this is my last night in Holland, I'm in a reflective mood. I've learned a lot about Holland. Not from my holiday, but from a book I bought the other day. It is filled with nuggets of information about the country. I mostly look at the pictures, but from the one page I've read, I learned that without Dykes, 2/3 of the country would be flooded. So thats why we legalised gay marriage. No I'm kidding. But 20% of the country is reclaimed land. This here is the key to one of the big modern mysteries of the world: Global warming. Its all a lie. The reason the sea level is rising is because Holland is reclaiming all this land.

But onto a more serious topic: getting lost.
Unfortunately I have managed to find my way back each time, but I seem to have a very bad sense of direction over here. I think it is because I grew up on the southern hemisphere, but others have rightly assured me that it is because I'm a stupid git. My home town where I stayed for about a month, Schiedam, is my Bermuda triangle. I must have biked there 10 or 15 times, and I only once managed to get home without biking halfway to the next town. Its not entirely my fault; the Dutch don't believe in road signs. I could not point out where the central station is, despite having been there on numerous occasions. Sometimes it's there, or not. And the public transport gives whole new opportunities to get lost. And I like that about Holland. Getting lost is difficult to do in New Zealand, especially in Nelson. Getting lost is more than not knowing exactly where you are. Its a kind of meditation. It reminds me just how stupid I can be.

So the last few days in Holland have seen much more normal weather. See, I've had incredible luck with sunshine. Sure, its far from the 25+ degree weather in New Zealand, but if you have a warm jacket, you are happy if it reaches 5 degrees. Its strange hearing yourself say that it is "nice weather" when it is hardly above freezing point. For the last few days I've had the expected grey skies with some rain. But, this has worked to my advantage. Yes, I went to another museum, this one an "Open-air Museum", a kind of park where they have rebuilt about 90 classic old buildings from around the country. because of the crappy time of the year and the crappy weather, I had a great day. The whole park there must have had about 25 people in it, and 20 of those were workers and 2 were my Aunty and Uncle. They had a futuristic moving-seat cinema thing, a fully restored tram from the early 1900's, and what turned out to be a private tour. It was like they opened the doors especially for us.

Anyhow, I think you get my point. I will miss Dutch baking, and I will miss getting lost. And when I'm in the air, for 1 1/2 days, I will miss being able to move my legs, I will miss having an actual meal and I will probably miss out on a lot of sleep. But it will give me a lot of time to think about my last entry on ruben in dutchland which I will write on return, where I will finally reveal which country is better.

In the meantime, thanks to everyone who has had to put up with me over these last two months. Those who fed, clothed, bathed and entertained me. I would also like to extend my apologies to the people who had difficulty understanding my accent, to the beggars I refused to give money to (somehow I don't think Holland is the most lucrative country for the profession of beggary), and to the old lady who I laughed at when she fell off her bike. And I would like to extend my middle finger to whoever decided that I need to be at the airport 3 hours before my flight takes off. So farewell to some, and to others, I hope to catch up with you soon.

Firstly I want to make it perfectly clear that although Holland is sometimes known as "Danishland", it has nothing to do with Denmark. I have absolutely nothing to do with Denmark; the only thing I know is that they have Legoland and a mermaid sitting on a rock. This lack of knowledge about other countries is exactly what the problem is with our world today. When I mention to people that I visited Belgium, the first thing they say is "Chocolate". Most people think Belgianese (also known as "the Belsch") are a country of oopma-lumpa's who only ever make chocolate. This is just complete nonsense. They also make beer.

So, in order to play my part in making the world a harmonious place just like Micheal Jackson sung about 10 years ago, I'm going to try and inform you all about this wonderful country (Dutchland) and break down existing stereotypes.

Stereotype 1: Sports
Holland is a country of soccer hooligans, just like England.

Although Holland forgot to show up at the last world cup, Soccer (also known as "paying 100 bucks to sit at the back of a 50,000 seat capacity stadium to watch imports kick a ball around"), is unquestionably the most popular sport here. But there are other sports. The start of January saw the world championship Darts competition. It was fascinating, these well pub-trained athletes- fat, balding, beer-gutted men are the Robin Hood's of our era (except they keep the 30,000 pound prize money). This was especially exciting because a 21 year old Dutchman, a mere qualifier, came in and won the finals. I never really knew it was a proper sport. Watching this on t.v. you couldn't help but think how incredibly accurate he was. The camera would then cut to a shot of his girlfriend on the sidelines. Maybe we weren't the world champions in Soccer, but dammit, at least we have darts.

Skating has always been a big sport in Holland. Not the kind of skating where you wear your pants around your knees, but the kind of skating where you wear a body suit that is more revealing than if you were naked. Ice skating is of course a very Dutch thing, as when there is a harsh winter, everyone skips school and work and goes skating on the frozen ditches and rivers. As a sport, it has all the excitement of indy car racing, only without the cars, speed, noise, crashes or any other reason to watch it. But Holland is always good at it, so it's popular. Thats completely natural, I mean, netball is still very popular in New Zealand.

Another sport which is rising in popularity is climbing. Now, if you're familiar with the geography of the Netherlands, you would realise that this is the equivalent of a Jamacian bobsled team. Artificial walls are very popular, but to actually go climbing, you need to go to the next country. Also popular is Handball, a very European sport, very fast, very brutal, but to be honest it just looks like rugbyheads playing basketball.

Anyhow, that is enough for one today. You can't save the world in one day. But I hope I have helped dispel some stereotypes about this country, and saved our saved our foreign embassies from being burnt down. Join in next time as I attack the stereotypes of the Dutch being cheap. Bye for now, or as the Dutch say: "Ghcccgggg" (it is pronnounced exactly like it's spelt).