Sunday, September 06, 2009


The Count

So I was cleaning my room yesterday, and I came across my ties. I said to myself very matter-of-factly: "I have four ties. How did this happen?"

Today, depending on your time zone, was also exactly one year since I was Back 'n Dutch, and I wish to commemorate this in a special way. In the spirit of how I rediscovered my yuppie past, what follows is a series of statistics. All of these statistics are absolutely true. Come count with me.



1 -- One year since I arrived in Holland.

9 -- Nights outside spent outside of Holland. This involves 2 nights in Belgium, and a week in Scotland (Some stories of which are still to come in a future post.)

3 -- Different countries. (or, in the case of you being Scottish, 4. Please don't hurt me!)

3 -- Essays I have had to write so far.

52 -- Hours of class I have had to attend

13 -- Hours of those classes which were wasted for arriving late and taking a shit at halftime.

8 -- The only grade I have received so far for any essay and class. Now, you are probably thinking what I was thinking the first time I got a grade. I asked my flatmate: "I got an 8, is that good?"... She called me an asshole because she thought I was bragging. I seriously think that my teachers don't know any other numbers. I mean, they teach the Arts, not the Maths...

3 -- Times coming home after 8AM.

0 -- Pairs of shoes lost. I think I am keeping my partying under control.

4 -- Books read. Seriously. And one of those books was a children's book. It's not that I don't like reading, it's just that when I have time, I'd rather write. I know, it's a deeply rooted irony. By the way, the books I read were:
De Kleine Prins: The Dutch version of "The Little Prince", which is originally French anyway. If you haven't read this, if there was one piece of advice I could give you, reading this would be it.
To The Lighthouse
: a Virginia Woolfe novel. If there was another piece of advice I could give you, it would be to not read this. You WILL thank me for it.
The God Delusion
: A great read. As Bill Maher put it, "I hope one day this book will be in every hotel room across the country".
Het lotgeval van een geluksvogel:
The Dutch Version of Slumdog Millionaire. I read it to test my Dutch, and to make me sleepy. At the time, I thought, "This would make a good movie." I haven't seen it yet.

4 -- New pairs of underwear. I hate shopping for clothes and There's nothing I hate more than shopping for underwear. That's what mothers are for. Although it is always nice to have a nice new pair of ball-huggers.

1 -- Haircut.

1 -- Time I nearly released my bowels into a barber's chair out of fear that I would have a mullet.

3 -- Bottles of "Douche Gel" I have gone through. Seriously, Shower Gel is called "Douche gel" in Holland. I laugh every time I use it, because it is just so appropriate.

7 -- Years since I played volleyball seriously. I played last week and am thinking of joining a volleyball team here. But seven years! I feel so old!

2 -- Goldfish adopted.

0 -- Goldfish-related deaths.

324 -- Sent emails. Although, to be fair, this doesn't include emails to people I replied to more than once.

49 -- Cities I've visited. This sounds like a lot, but I have been keeping track via this facebook application. Because as long as I'm a student, I can travel for free on the weekends, whenever I have a day off, I try to go somewhere new. When there, I try visit a museum and see the city centre a bit. But to be fair, some places I probably didn't experience to the fullest. For example, Eindhoven.

675 -- Seconds for my computer to turn on until I can view my emails. Yes, I must be the world's most patient man, that I have to wait almost ten minutes for my computer to load up, and yet it doesn't have a hole in the screen yet. Yet... As I always say, they don't make computers like they used to.

2078.08 -- Euro I have received from the government so far. Ah the joys of being a student in Holland.

45, 364 -- The wordcount on Back 'n Dutch in the last year, including this post.

18,000 -- How many words I need for my end of year thesis. Easy!

Thanks everyone, and here's to accumulating more numbers in the next year!

Ruben

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