The Highlight Reel
In order to make up for the last few months of silence, I decided to make a highlight recap, but then I realised that finding the best moments of the last few months would be like eating the tasty part of the turd. I guess that's never stopped me before. So read on with a grain of salt, or a few lumps of sugar, or anything else to help you get it down (perhaps a stiff drink).
The Pasty Chef lives!
Yes, I realise I posted this photoshop earlier this year when I was trying out my comedy in Wellington, but that led onto bigger and greater things. Well, it led onto
other things, and that's something, I think.
The University of Canterbury Bandsoc (Band Society/club) had their first annual Battle of the Bands Competition, a knockout competition featuring 22 local bands. Well, they featured 21 local bands and me wearing a hat. See, I have never had a performing name, but the entry form had a space for one. So, since I had already made this photoshop, I just used that. Lazyness pays.
So, I was a solo act in a serious music competition, singing disgusting songs. I tried to get my hands on a video of my performance, but either the person who made it ripped their eyes out afterwards and is now in a mental hospital, or he is saving the video until the Pasty Chef goes global.
Afterwards, I wrote a review in the canta magazine, in which I roasted all the 12 bands who made it to the semi finals, (including myself). Have a read,
here.
The highlight for me, however, was afterwards when I got hold of my actual scoring sheet from the three serious judges. (One was a producer who has worked with Stevie Wonder.) One judge, under the category of "Technical Skills" gave me a 5... out of 20. Then he added the comment "Fairly average". That's amazing, because that's exactly what I was aiming for.
Role Modelling
I'm not sure how this even happened, or if it even was legal, but I somehow ended up visiting a high school and telling the students to enrol at the University of Canterbury. As you can see in the photo, I am a huge chin and a headset-microphone away from doing a spot-on Tony Robins impersonation. Creepy eyes, and strong body language... nailed it!
Exhibition
As part of my education, we set up an on-campus exhibition. it has
it's own webpage so you know it's legit. Here you can see me hard at work "supervising". Yes, this is the kind of job I want in the future.
Voting
As part of my civil duty I went to the voting booths and voted the hell out of our democratic ways despite not knowing about the parties as we don't have a TV. There wasn't much point though, since you never change leaders during a crisis (the earthquake), and apparently you don't change leaders
after winning the rugy world cup either. The rugby world what? Hmm. I need to start watching more TV.
The only reason I knew that I needed to vote was because of
this guy.
So this is a photo of me sporting my
election ink. The odd thing is, New Zealand doesn't do election ink. I just used the felt pen to draw on my thumb. You might think I must be a hipster and I voted ironically, but that only shows that you just don't get it. Leave me alone already. Gosh!
Final Project
My final project of my university career was handed in on Monday, and I really did my best to focus on style over substance. Hence, over half the project was printed in full colour, anbd included several to scale photoshops like this one. Again, there's no real reason to show these except to get more mileage out of them. I mean, it took hours to get them just right, and then I had to do them all over again when I changed a few minor details. Photoshop is fantastic when you want to procrastinate doing your assignment, but also want to feel like you're doing something towards your assignment.
Moving
So, ever since July, our flat (The Russian House) has been on the open market. I was living in an open home. Every week, a greasy salesman (who we lovingly nicknamed "douchebag") came to our house and showed around strange people. It was so annoying, having to clean the house for him, and never would he leave behind a fruit bowl or anything more valuable than his business card. Sometimes he would come more often with only a day's notice, sometimes he would ask us odd questions in front of the potential clients like "It's really warm here in winter right?" (while winking at me). What a sack of shit. He also apparently isn't a very good salesman because the house is still unsold.
That's partly why I'm leaving Christchurch. I have finished school, and although I have nowhere to go next, that's better than staying for no reason in a house which isn't even my own. So with this, the Christchurch era has petered out early, but that's what I do best.
Lastly, with this photo of my Christmas tree contructed from a pot, a pillow, a green jacket and some fairy lights, I wish you a merry x-mas, no matter how crappy it is. I've made some crappy
xmas trees in the past, but this one is possibly the worst, which somehow is promising.
Take care one and all.
That's right, it says "Artificial Limb Centre". This isn't odd in itself since the hospital is nearby, but all I could think of was the poor amputee trekking up the freaking hill to get his prostetic pogo-leg adjusted. Having an artificial limb centre up a steep hill is like having a gym at a pastry shop. It's just a dick thing to do. I thought New Zealanders were supposed to be nice.
