The Even Greater Tokyo Region

Festival Season Part II
Festival Mundial (min Lauryn)

Since I had gone on this pilgrimage to see Lauryn Hill on my own, I went alone. That meant I had plenty of time to make stupid observations about largely unknown, hardworking singers who probably don't deserve it. This should be fun.

Kenny B
I arrived just on time to see Kenny B. I wanted to see him because he was one of the few artists listed as only "Reggae". I had never heard of him, and just now, a quick google reveals that he is basically a professional warm-up act for B-grade reggae acts. He was pretty decent, although I think everyone appreciated his last two songs the most since they were Bob Marley covers.

Fun fact: Kenny B is actually Kenny G's long lost brother. I know, uncanny, right?
(Insert Kenny G picture here)

Sabrina Starke

This was the first performer on the main stage, which was my first time seeing a main stage. Holy shit. This was when I realised how big these festivals are. Until now, I had only seen this type of thing on TV, and it's not the same.

Sabrina Starke is apparently a big star in Holland as a jazz/soul singer. As a performer she sucked. She kept trying to get people to sing along. It was only 2:30 in the afternoon. No-one did. Then she got all passive-aggressive about it. I don't know, she might be a really nice person (although odds are since she is successful, I'd doubt it), but she really came off as a bitch. That's a shame, because she really does have a great voice and some good songs.

Misc:

• They had "sign dancers" for most acts on the bog stage. I had never heard of this concept either, but it is supposed to allow deaf people to enjoy the music too. I know I certainly enjoyed it, but probably not in the same way that is intended. It's too easy to make jokes about, so here is a video.
  
• There was a reggae/punk crossover. I propose to call this genre "renk" or "regunk", because that is the sound I made when I heard it. It was the audio version of drinking milk right after brushing your teeth.
• A crazy group from Somalia. They were truly crazy, even managing to make the crowd go almost equally nuts. Still, it reminded me of this Southpark clip. It's unfortunate for Somalia, but it's like the sheep and NZ stereotype. They're going to have to get used to it.
• While a Guinea Fasseuaean master percussion group was playing, about ten kids were running around on the stage. It was only slightly annoying until one fat kid had to be a complete asshole and took a microphone from a jambe player. His parents asked him to stop. He didn't. This kept going on for about two songs until I wanted to punch him in the ear. I can only imagine what the band members were thinking. Look, festivals are nice places to bring kids, but they should at least be put on a leash. Especially the fat ones.
• A Moroccan group. They were irritatingly difficult to listen to.
• An acclaimed hiphop group from Denmark. Who knew? (well, they were acclaimed in Denmark too, which explains some of it.) More amazingly, they were pretty damn good. Especially considering how painfully bad mediocre hip hop is. Actually, I'm sure that real Europeans know this group. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8krO7Q3vSys&feature=related). My citizenship training continues...
  
• A group whe was described as an "Afro-rock" band. Now, I don't actually know what that means. From what I can tell, "Afro-rock" means 'rock music played by black guys'. They were good, but every time a song was about to get good, it didn't. It was disappointing, and trust me, after today, I knew disappointment. At least their colourful costumes were cool.
  

Ziggi

Now, this is not the iconic Ziggy Marley from the Melody Makers. No, this is Holland (and possibly Europe's) biggest reggae/dancehall act. I know, he should have chosen a different name. I don't care if his real name is Ziggi. It would be like if my name was "Tom Petti", and I used that as my performing name. It just aint right.

Nevertheless, he was the only other act I knew about beforehand, albeit since I arrived in Holland. You know what, he has a gimmicky/phoney (if not blantantly misleading) performing name. His band is a little flat, uncreative, or even possibly undertalented. His songs are too stereotypical love songs or about marijuana. I mean, before one song, called "Blaze it", he encouraged the crowd to take out their "blunts". This is a family festival! Look, in countries where smoking weed is illegal, sure, that might be a rebellious thing, but in Holland at a family festival, you are just a douchebag. Besides, what is he trying to convert people to Rastafianism? I mean, Christian rock bands don't encourage the crowd to drink wine because it is used in communion. Another thing, even though he is Dutch (from the Dutch Antilles in the Caribbean) and performing in Holland, he obviously thinks it is better for his image to only speak English. That just seems a little ingeniuos to me.

Oh yeah, but my point was, despite all of that, I still like it. He doesn't verge too much into Dancehall and has a good voice. Wow, that was probably the most extended backhanded compliment I have given out this year. Congratulations Ziggi! (if that is even your real name.)

The highlight of the day was probably the market. See, this was a world festival, and there were lots of stalls selling Africanny things- as well as people just asking for your money. Before I left Japan, I bought a set of percussion balls. They have many names as they are used in several mid-African countries. I can kind of use them, but I wanted two identical sets so I could use both hands. Like this:

Unfortunately, no music stores in Holland has them. I checked them all. But here at the festival, I found my own set of balls. Immediately I began practicing. Hopefully one day I can be as good as those guys. But look out for my balls in future posts. They frequently feature in my stories at festivals. So that was a success story, and my day, sans Lauryn Hill, wasn't a waste after all. It was never going to be. Any time you get to make fun of others, is a good time by me.