Aren't I already overseas?

I'm very excited. In a matter of days I will be going to China. "So what", I hear some of you saying, "You left almost half a year ago". These people are still not completely aware that Japan and China are not the same country. But we shall ignore these people.

After my first day of school this year, I came home and said to myself: "I need a holiday". Yes, Osaka was a great time. However, many others took the opportunity to go overseas. I want a part of that. So I'm going to Shanghai.

It isn't a completely spontaneous trip. In fact, it is one of the less spontaneous things I have ever done. I have been planning it for a good 4 months. You almost have to. I don't mean to suggest that overseas travel is a simple pleasant process in other countries, but Japan… They love to be thorough. Thoroughly annoying. In Japan it is unusual to travel overseas without a bus-load of other old people, led by a neatly dressed lady in her 30's carrying a flag on a pole. You know the type. I just wanted a plane ticket. Of course, it didn't help I chose to go to communist China. I will never forget the travel agent's face when I told her I had 2 passports. It was like Michael Jordan, late in his career, finding out you are allowed to dribble the ball ("you can do that?").

However, it seems to be all sorted out now. The main reason I'm going is because my father is passing through Shanghai, and I thought it would be easy enough to rendezvous there. It wasn't "easy", but it looks like it will happen. But I am very much looking forward to walking around a strange city where I don't know the language, with a camera around my neck and a wallet full of near-valueless currency. Wait, that might not be a wise idea in China… Well, either way, I'm sure there will be many good stories waiting for me if I get back. See you, or as they say in China: "Adios!".

Happy 2007 everyone. As you may know, the animal for this year, according to the Chinese New Year, which isn't for another month but the Japanese use anyways, is the wild boar. I think we can all agree that of all the animals of the Chinese calendar, the wild boar is the least funny. The sheep, the rat, the dog, the chicken, the snake, and especially the monkey are all easy to make jokes about. If the Chinese New Year symbols were comedians, we have entered the year of Tom Green and Sinbad.

Anyhow... I have just come off the winter holidays, spent mostly in the big city of Osaka. Certain things happen in big cities, and I will keep these fuzzy warm memories with me forever. I will never forget the look on this old man's face as the car we were driving in was parked on top of his wife. Priceless. I know, I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was shockingly amusing.

(Before you start thinking, "oh Ruben, he's such a lying bastard", I guarantee that this story is 100% true… well, at least 90%)

The good news of this story is that I, personally, was not driving. If it had of been me who backed over an elderly Japanese woman, it wouldn't have been such a funny story. Police are much stricter on foreigners, and I may also possibly have been slightly drunk at the time.

I don't want to be pointing the blame at anyone, but our friend who picked us up at a small train station somehow backed over an elderly lady, on her way home from shopping. When I say "backed over", I mean that she kindof hit the car, and he foot ended up under the wheel. I have personal experience in having my foot run over by a car, so I wasn't too concerned. (The only difference between my experience at the old lady's was about 60 years.) There were two lines of thought in my head. The naiive New Zealand voice saying: "She'll be right, she'll get up and Japanesely apologise", and the cynical voice of someone who has been living in Japan for a while: "This will involve the police and ambulances and news crews and police lineups…".

It became apparent to me that the lady's biggest concern (once the car was off her foot) was the temperature of the concrete, as she made no attempt to even move for 10 minutes. The husband appeared to be very angry, but I'm now not so sure if it had anything to do with hitting his wife with a vehicle. The cynical voice in me was right (this is happening all too often lately), and soon the sirens of ambulances and policemen were heard. When the ambulance came, the lady had gotten up, and walked onto the ambulance, STILL CARRYING HER SHOPPING BAGS! Where was the husband now? (Now, more than ever, I think the Japanese education system should include lessons in chivalry. However, this story may have to wait for another day.)

By this time, there were 4 regular policemen, a motorcycle cop, and a self righteous parking warden guy who seemed to be enjoying pretending acting as a real policemen. They filed a detailed police report, with measurements and data and diagrams and photographs and chalk on the "crime scene". The whole ordeal took about 2 hours, which really killed my beer buzz.

While everything was blown into hilarious proportions, I do have sympathy for the old lady. She will have a sprained ankle, and probably numerous bruises. What must hurt most though, is having such a useless husband. I also have sympathy for our friend driver. Credit to her though, I have never seen someone so calm after running someone over.

The rest of the holiday was mostly beer and other alcohol induced joviality. It is nice to get out of Toyama. Even when I got back, there was still 3 nights of joviality left. In all, it was 10 nights of drinking in 11 days. I know, it's shocking; in Japan, the winter holidays are only 11 days long! I lie. In fact, they are 7 days long, but I took some paid leave to make it seem like a real holiday. thankfully, it was. Now I am back at school, and I hope to be able to use my experiences to make me a better teacher in 2007.

Any ideas?