Sunday, December 24, 2006

In Japan, it's nearing the end of the year. You know what this means: another excuse to drink heavily. The Japanese take their end-of-year parties very seriously, to the point of ridiculousness. Having just got over the worst of my hangover, I feel ready to tell my story.


Because of this party, the school actually closed at 5:30. That never happens. I once stayed behind, playing on the computer and observing the teachers. I really don't think they do any work; it's more of a "see who caves and goes home first". It was me who caved just after 5:30, but the teachers are professionals, and I wouldn't be surprised if some days they stay at their desk until the morning, staring out the other teachers.

So the school closed at 5:30, and all the teachers, the office ladies and even the lunch ladies (who rarely leave their kitchen/cellar) climbed onto the bus. There seems to be a strict class system at Japanese schools, where the Principal is treated like a royal corgi, and the lunch ladies are spat on. This day was special, the lunch ladies were allowed to ride on the bus with normal people. Taking a coach bus and a driver to the destination doesn't seem like a bad idea. Unless you consider that the place was a literal 5-minute drive away.

On the way there, we had a rest stop. It seems a little excessive, but I went along with it. The day was already strange enough, and I wasn't questioning anything anymore. A teacher said to me, "leg spa". I think he meant "foot spa". It was really odd: me and 7 guy teachers sitting on an outdoor park bench/pagoda with their feet in a pool of hot water. Also, since it is winter, there was a nice hot/cold contrast going on.

Finally we got to the destination. Generally, these things are done at traditional Japanese restaurants where they serve raw fish, or whole fish with a variety of terrified gaping faces. Furthermore, beer and sake is freely distributed, and your glass is never allowed to be empty. In western countries, people like to display their drinking prowess by building empty beer can towers, or by amassing a big collection of empty bottles. The Japanese way everyone gets equally drunk, and makes it impossible to know how drunk you really are.

Not drunk enough, it turns out. There was a presentation of the top 10 ten news items for the school. It was quite entertaining. The person the news was aimed at was given an empty bottle to use as a microphone, and they had to make a speech. Anyhow, it was only a supplementary to the top 10, but I did get a mention. It was "Ruben's card tricks were very wonderful", or words to that effect. In this situation, the only thing you can really say is: "pick a card, any card". This is an example of why I am so good at my job. It was a high-pressure situation with a big audience, including the royal corgi, and I had to overcome the obstacle of being drunk. It worked out for everyone; they were entertained, and I didn't have to speak into an empty bottle.

It was a good party. It is just nice that for once, the teachers don't have to pretend to be busy at work. Also, I got to thank the lunch ladies for all the good work they do. Next was the '2 nd level'. It's basically the same thing, except only the male staff came. More food, more beer, more sake, only by this point, I don't think many others were drinking anymore. My motto is, if its there, drink it. (This is another reason why I did not enjoy the leg spa… I think my motto needs revising). When I got back to my town, I had a 3 rd level. You can always have some more sake. In all, it was a brilliant night.

The best part about the night, however, must be the timing. It was on a Thursday. And Friday morning was for the closing ceremonies. 90 minutes of hangover hell, in a cold gymnasium… It is the Japanese way… (Stupid.)

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