English speakers in Japan love all the places where Japanese make blatant mistakes in their clumsy attempts to use English, not dissimilar to this here sentence. There are websites for Engrish, but it is much more satisfying to find your own examples. The criteria of good Engrish are, as I see it: Blatantness, Nonsensicality, Public Coverage, Accidental Innuendo.
Blatantness.
This photo was taken at a Pachinko Parlour (note: Pachinko is a form of "gaming". Gambling is illegal in Japan, so Pachinko parours get around this red tape by making it impossible to win). This building is on a main road, 5 minutes from central Kanazawa (a city of half a million).
Nonsensicality.
This is self explanitory. Or not... I don't get it. Neither should you. This is usually the result of a tragic marriage between an incompetent English speaker, and a dictionary. Try take these rules at a club seriously.
Public Coverage.
This is the scale of the mistake. The bigger the billboard, the better. Often related to blatantness.
Accidental Innuendo.
This is the most satisfying variant of Engrish, when nonsensicality starts to mae sense, only not in the way it was intended. But really, why does there need to be an English poem on the packet of disposable womens underwear? That is asking for trouble.
There is an unspoken agreement between foreigners living in Japan, to not correct these mistakes. At times, these are our only source of enjoyment. This is an especial double standard for English teachers, and especially those employed by the government, such as myself. We are supposed to correct English, but this would strip us of the everyday pleasure of laughing at incompetent others...
At the same time, engrish also pisses me off. First of all, why does everything need to be written in English? English isn't an official language, and no-one really speaks English fluently. It's purely because of fashion. Yes, you've most likely seen japanese fashion, combining schoolgirl uniforms, with superhero costumes. (for both genders). Perhaps you also read the (true) recent article that began: "Japanese poodle lovers have been fleeced into buying what were described as 'cleverly trimmed sheep'.
It's fair to say that am a disliker of fashion. Just the idea of people liking something because others like it too. It is so hollow, and this should never be applied to a language. As soon as you start learning a language to be fashionable, you strip it of all its worth, all its true meaning.
When I arrived at my Junior High School, there was the slogan "we make an active school". While not fitting into any of the 4 engrish categories, per see, it is still a meaningless shell of a sentence, destroyed by non-english speakers and dictionaries. The dewey-eyed youth I was, I wanted to change things. I vowed to make next year's slogan sound less retarded. I hereby present the new slogan:
"Let's make a smily school"
This is tragic. The typo is theirs, not mine. They came to me with a Japanese motto, and asked me to translate it; starting with "let's" using the word "shine", and making it easy to understand for everyone. It was tough. I came up with "Let's make our personalities shine bright". I wasn't happy with it, but it was certainly an improvement on last year.
The next day, I got asked by an art teacher to comment on another slogan: "let's make smile". Not even Shakespeare could rescue such a ridiculous sentence. I told him it sounds stupid. "let's making smiling"?, he suggested... "let's make a smile"? Although this was (accidentally) gramatically okay, this was hardly a slogan for a school I wanted to be associated with. He listened to my suggestions, and thanked me profusely.
Now, I am staring, in dismay, at a handout that explains the process that was made in choosing the new slogan. My original suggestion was "too difficult", "wouldn't it be better to have one that is easier to understand?" Therefore, for the next year, our slogan is "Let's make a smily school".
It's slap in the face really, since the reason I am in Japan is to teach what Japanese teachers cannot: natural English. Another ALT rightly pointed out that this slogan would maybe be suitable for a dentistry school. (although one sometimes doubts whether these even exist in Japan...). It's frustrating because I would like to think I make a difference, but if I can't even keep Engrish outside my school, it reminds me that I'm simply an item of fashion.
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