The Even Greater Tokyo Region

The school fire procedure for class 3-B (rough translation):

In case of fire, calmly exit your classroom, holding a hankerchief to your face. Walk single file down the corridoor, down a flight of stairs, past 2 classrooms, turn down the main corridoor past the councellors room, a spare room, the copy room, staffroom, teacher's changing rooms, the library, the traditional Japanese-style room with straw flooring, across an overpass, and down a flight of stairs. Infact, go to the very opposite side of the school and enter the gymnasium.

If you have ever seen the Mel Gibson movie, the patriot, this safety procedure reminds me a lot of the burning church scene. Awful.

This idiotic "safetly" procedure surprises me considering how seriously they take it. The fire drill was scheduled for period 4, friday, 2 weeks in advance. When the big moment arrived, at precisely 11:45, the bells went off. Two well-uniformed fire-fighters were already present, but they were simply observing. I didn't notice them fighting any fires. But everyone else was busy running around... The vice principal picked up the telephone and called the fire station. The assistant principal put a message over the intercom. The fire-fighters watched intently...

Soon the footsteps of hankerchief-carrying schoolkids went by the staffroom. Incredidibly, none of them had forgotten their hankerchiefs. I must've been invisible, but I decided to make my way to the gymnasium just incase. In the gymnasium, the students were lined up in neat class rows and in gender and alphabetical order. An older fire-man was standing at the front importantly holding a stopwatch. The six home-room teacher took a quick headcount, and ran to the stopwatch man.

It was over. Danger was averted. It's amazing how efficient this well-planned firedrill was. For those wondering why they all have to go to the gymnasium, which is probably not fireproof instead of outside, which probably is fireproof, is because Japanese people can't wear their indoor shoes outside. I am told that in event of an actual fire, they will assmble outside. I presume they then throw their indoor shoes onto the actual fire, because they will never be used inside again. I would hate to see the actual chaos and confusion in a real fire. I am sure half the students would still try change their shoes.

The stopwatch man clicked the button, and produced a loudspeaker. Everyone relaxed. It was all over. He gave a quick speech, and presented the principal with a fancy certificate. The principal then gave a long speech. Then the other two fire-fighters had their turn. All the while, what the students didn't see, a carpet of white smoke was slowly creeping towards them from the changing room at the back of the gym.

It was all part of the show, luckily, not a reinactment of the Patriot. All the students had to walk through the changing room to experience a smoke-filled room. It was intended to show them the terror of not being able to see in the smoke. For the first time in almost 40 minutes, the kids were having fun.

I really don't know what to think of the fire drill. It was taken very seriously and was excecuted with North-Korean-like eficiency, and I applaud this. But somehow, it inspired no confidence in me. It does not make me feel safe. Rather, I do not feel the students would be safe. The only comfort I can take is in the knowledge that very few Japanese people smoke.