Monday, December 10, 2007

I'm somewhat of a closet hip-hop fan, and so when I heard that an American rapper called Steph pockets was playing in nearby Kanazawa, I sacrificed my last proper basketball training or a night of drinking (it required driving going to Kanazaa. More than I anticipated, as it turns out).

I went with Ivy, and with her laid backness and my inability to make a decision, it turned out to be very interesting even before we arrived. See, we checked on the on-line map for directions, and it seemed simple enough. Of course, this should have been a huge warning. I believe that Japan is the most mis-directed country in the world. They have worst map-makers in the world. Most maps in Japan contain large cartoon characters, and there is no such thing as scale. Before I got to Japan, I was sent a map of Tonami. Going by that map, I thought my school was walking distance from town, and there were tulips the size of sports stadiums all over town. I have a theory that the 400 years of national isolation has a lot to do with this. Direction isn't important if you have nowhere to go. Even now, Japanese people hardly travel around the world, and if they do, they simply follow a neatly dressed girl holding a flag. Japanese people therefore have an awful sense of mis-direction.

I set out to Kanazawa before 9am, and we arrived in the general vicinity of the venue at 10. We had no idea where exactly the venue was. "Let's ask at the convenience store". What followed was a mystery treasure hunt, only without any accurate clues. The first convenience store hadn't heard of the venue, but they tried looking it up on a computer. They had no idea. I think they were just too ashamed to say they didn't know, so started punching things in on the contertop computer. When it comes to directions, even a Japanese guy is still a guy.

The next 4 convenience stores brought up the same results. One guy I asked replied "eeto", which translates roughly to "I haven't the slightest clue, but I will go out of my way to the extent of self-torture to keep you standing right there as I fail to find out the answer to whatever you just asked me". In an act of kindness, I rudely took leave.

We had a friend email this internet map to my telephone, and I asked another convenince store dude. He studied the image closely, ran out the back of the store with a map and some coins, and made me a photocopy. I actually think he used his own money. So he drew a bunch of lines on the new photocopied map, and explained it in excruciating detail. By now it was after 11PM. I thanked the guy, and we drove away again. With the help of his kindly act, we drove around the same block for another hour.We were driving in exactly the place where the arrow told us to go, and it was on the other map too. I suppose getting lost in Japan isn't only the Japanese's fault. They should blame whoever planned the cities and built the roads. Streets aren't named, they never run parallel, they suddenly stop or turn into a highway. At one stage of circular driving frustration, I said "I'm sure Hiroshima is easy to navigate". Yeah. It was futile. It was already 12PM, and we had ran out of ideas to find this place.

That's when Ivy made a huge discovery. We weren"t supposed to go to the arrow at all. That was just a "general direction" gist of an arrow. Look closely and you will see a B. That was the real destination. Japan can hardly be called a nation of cartographers.

Luckily, the event only really started at 12:30. Being sober driver, I was able to make many observations.The following is the description of all the main acts.

1. Some crazy DJ's.
I don't know if they have a performing name. There is a line in a Fugees song that goes :"Too many M.C.'s, not enough mics". This is exactly how I felt about this DJ act. Sure they were good enough, but was it really neccessary to have 6 DJs scratching in synch?

2. "Nacky".
She was incredibly pretty, and prettied up, which made up for her unfortunate performing name. She had a DJ playing sparse tunes, over which she sang very good average generic poppy Japanese RnB.

3. "Miss-art".
I can say with absolute certainty that she was wearing a hat. She obviously devoted herself to voice training as religiously as straightening her hair. What a great voice. However, for her last number, she tried singing an English song. She may as well have been humming, because Ivy and I understood as little as everyone else.

4. "The Switch-Blacks.
This was a very talented rapper, all rolled up into just 6 people. They also had a few back-up dancers, who didn"t dance, so much as making silly shapes with their hands.

5. Intermission. The screensaver on the projected at the back displayed the word "bathroom", while they played boring elevator music for a long time.

6.Shiva.
This was a very talented 6 piece hiphop band. They began their show with 25 minutes of someone trying out different ring-tones. These guys were in no rush to start playing any real music. But once they did, they were pretty good.

7. Steph Pockets.
Her DJ came out first; a huge black guy and started yelling out: "Steph Pockets in the house! Everybody say 'Steph Pockets!'"
"Steph Pockets", Ivy and I replied.
See, of the several hundred (I'm not good at estimation amounts of people), we were the only foriegners there, and the crowd was so passive. Ivy and I were like plain-clothes ALTs, trying to lead by example. This is surprising because usually Japanese music fans are said to be really good. The DJ kept at it, and eventually after much repetition, the noise level was sufficient for her to come out.

My god, I hardly even saw her, she's so short. She was great though, despite the numb crowd. After the 3rd song, she laughed to herself: "Kanazawa, you're pretty dead tonight, huh?". It was rough, but she powered on. It's a shame that her lyrics are good, because they were lost on the crowd. One line was noteworthy though: "from here to Japan".

A few members of the crowd did shout out a few words of encouragement to her. It was one of 3 things:
1. "Kawaii!". This is basically saying "you are cute!!". Not really a bad thing, but maybe strange to say to a rapper, no?
2. "I love you!" (in a heavy Japanese accent). Now, that is something you would yell out at a concert.
3. "Long hair!". Now, this was simply embarrassing to me. Yes, she has dreadlocks down to the floor (not really that long then...), but what, is this comment supposed to be a compliment, a question, or just a extremely obvious obvservation?

So she finished her last song, and the crowd of people was deathly silent. Now, this would be a good moment to ask for one last song. Bravely, Ivy called out "Encore", and then tried a few more times in katakana English.
"On-ko-re! On-ko-re".
We got a few people to join in, and Steph Pockets, who was obviously planning to sing the encore anyway, came out and did one last number. It was rough for her, but Ivy and I had to work hard too. By now it was well after 3PM, and I started on the long drive home. Unfortunately, I did not get lost, so it is not worth writing about.

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