The True Unhappened Chronicled Misdeed of an Immigrant Labourer: Part III
Times were so rough, jobs so scarce and the forecast was so bleak, I even considered the unthinkable. I was made aware of an advertisement for a very lucrative proposition. It was 4 weeks at a resort with all amenities, including TV/computer/Playstation lounges, a pool table, a well-kept garden premises, self-improvement classes, 3 catered meals per day. And the pay was an incredulous amount that would cover a huge chunk of my study year. All the advertisement said was:
"Are you a healthy male between 18 and 45?"
Yes. Yes, I am. Can I have the money in a large sack with a dollar sign on it, please?
Of course, there was a catch. This was an advertisement calling for subjects for medical trials. This calls for a movie flashback!
Okay, I did not believe there would be superhero-like consequences, however, I was still intrigued. This particular trial was testing new medications for nerve ailments or diseases. Would "Superstrong Ligament Man" pass for a superhero? (Well, if Hollywood is making a movie based on the board game Monopoly, then yes.)
My point is, my word, this was tempting. I am very acclimatised to failure by now, and this was so tempting. I figured, I can sit around waiting for temping agencies not to call me for work, or I can pretty much do the same thing, get drugged up and made to run on a treadmill for an hour a day. Hell, for the amount they were offering, they could smash my knees and study how fast my ligaments heal. Everything has its price. Beggars can't be choosers. If something seems too good to be be true, it probably is (a medical trial).
An interesting aside to this story, to show my dramatic fall from grace. I have a friend from my time in Japan, who lived in the same town, with the same job, for the same length of time, and he is now working a sweet job for a company that finds people to participate in medical trials. Oh the irony! 4 months pass, and we are on the opposite sides. I must have been really bad in a previous life, or I will be really good in a future life. (Irony number 2, he said that he wouldn't do the trial if he were me. Far from me to call him a hippopotamus, I'm sure I would say the same thing if I were him.)
In the end, mother knows best. Unsurprisingly, she guided me away from this preposterous idea of becoming a human lab-rat. I mean, I realise that the drug trial companies take all precautions they can to avoid liability, but the fact is, some lab-rats do not survive. A philosophy that I have lived by my entire life is "Stay in school, never get a job". I have the luxury of knowing, as a student, I can easily take out another fat student loan. As much as I would love the comfort of extra cash, it isn't too important or urgent. I would rather mortgage my future than gamble my present.
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