Since arriving in Christchurch and until Monday, I have had more than a month of unemployment, although that doesn't sound very nice. I prefer to call it PMS - "Pre-Mature Studentness".
Obviously, I had to do something to fill in my time, and since I am easily influenced by the corrupting influence of Gangster Hip Hop, I decided to read a book.
(Warning: if you weren't tipped off by the words "gangster hip hop", this video does contain a few naughty words.)
But really, for somebody who enjoys writing so much, it really is a shameful secret how little I actually read myself. So, I used this time before my student life (or, my "studentness") really begins to try and remedy that. So far I have downed a book every day and a half, and some of them don't even have pictures.
In this process, I have learned many things - mainly how awesome public libraries are in New Zealand. I mean, they have confortable seats, some have wifi, and they stock awesome books. It would be even cooler if I was younger and liked comic books and computer games, because they have them here too. Of course, I have learned some things within the books themselves too, and now I am giving my unofficial, incomplete book report, in no particular order.
1. Richard Dawkins: Unweaving the Rainbow
Richard Dawkins may be a scientist, calm mannered, proper, nerdy and weedy. But my word is he a pimp. Sure he pimp-slaps religion, as this book is before his God Delusion, but he goes on to genuinely destroy other loads of crap like Astrology, alternative medicine and anyone who uses scientific language to make themselves - or whatever they're selling - sound good. And the best part is, he manages to put poetry into science.2. Dr. Seuss - A Double Dose of Horton
I originally wanted to get out Green Eggs and Ham for my Russians who shockingly did not know that book. However, Horton is not a bad substitute. It's strange that I've never even accidentally seen any part of the movie, but oh well. I learnt from this book that Americans can rhyme "Mayor" with "there". Eek. Either Dr. Seuss was from the deep south, or all Americans are as bad as rhyming as Kanye West.3. Toulouse Lautrec and the fin de Siecle
A brilliantly written book - if not too long and sparse on pictures. It explained in detail about Paris at the end of the 19th Century including the real origins of Le Chat Noir and the Moulin Rouge. Especially notable was the throwaway sentence about how there was a performer in the 1890's in Paris who was a flatualist. Just like this guy.4. Shakespeare - Othello
Wait, Othello was black?5. Bill Bryson - Mother Tongue
Very interesting, and it made me lose my prejudice towards American English. Or, at least I thought so until I made that joke about Americans a couple of paragraps ago.6. Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson
I was looking for Dave Barry books, because he is hilarious. It turned out this was a children's book. So, being a male in my mid 20's rummaging through the young adult section in the library, I felt like everyone was automatically judging me as a kiddy fiddler.7. Dave Barry - Money Secrets
The classic Dave Barry I love so much. At a library! I remember 5 years ago I would go down to the bookstore every saturday to read Dave Barry books, and now I can take them home for free? Sorry Dave if you are reading this. I promise to buy all your books someday.
8. Manet: By Himself
This was a collection of letters that Manet wrote and recieved, as well as some essays and brilliant pictures. Yes, that is why I love Art History so much - it's all an excuse to look at nice pictures.9. Clawing at the Limits of Cool
This book explored the early years of Miles Davis and John Coltraine, who I now know are important figures in the history of not only Jazz, but music, culture, and civilization as we know it. Okay, so maybe I shouldn't base all my knowledge from one (albeit convincing) book, but it definitely makes me listen to jazz differently. And there was a great quote by Coltraine who was asked by Davis why he was eating so many bananas. Coltraine replied: "Gorilla's eat banana's, and they're strong as a motherfucker."10. Courbet
This was a collection of essays about a truly underappreciated artist. One particularly controversial but historically significant work is called "The Origin of the World", which is now hanging in the Musee d'Orsay in Paris. Now, it is basically a picture of a woman from an unusual angle. Use your imagination (or if you can't be bothered click here). Anyway, when I got to the chapter on the significance of this work, I found that the pages were stuck together. "Gross" I thought, until I realised that some lame librarian or concerned citizen had taken to it with glue to censor the book. Ah, I love when an artwork can stay controversial 150 years later. That takes talent.12. Stephen Colbert - I am America (and so can you)
So that's the end of my incomplete book report. I think I have done quite well so far, so I am going to go ahead and give myself my own grade.
Anyway, since University is about to start again, don't expect another book report from quite some time. That is, unless they require me to make a book report.
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