What a Load (of work)


Every year of University life, the workload increases. Now I'm at postgraduate level, I don't know how I cope, you know, with all four hours of class per week. For one recent project, I had to fold around 400 pieces of origami and make it into what I called an 'origami tapestry'.

Okay, well, I didn't "have" to do specifically that. The postgraduate assignment included making a section of a group 'art making exercise' that represents myslef and my identity. Yes, it sounds like something you would do at primary school, and when my flatmate saw me busy at work with my coloured paper and safety scissors and sello-tape while listening to cheesy music, she thought it was very cute. And it was.

The point it, well, I forget the point, but I do want to show off what I made. As I say, get the mileage out of it.

So, I used what is called "modular origami', which I learnt about afterwards. Basically, it is used to create complex geometric shapes, as seen here. (Warning, if you are a nerd, make sure you have your pocket protector on - this is pretty amazing stuff.)

However, I treated my more as a flat surface, in which I created some patterns and shapes which all have some meaning to it.

On the left side we have the river Schie, which gives name to the city I was born in, Schiedam, which is represented by the orange-red dam. On either side of the river are black and white spots of the Frisian cow, from the north of Holland.

Then, on the right is a map of Nelson, with the boulder bank, Haulashore Island and Fifeshire rock. Just to give you an idea, Fifeshire Rock - the small grey box, contains five pieces of origami. So yeah, this was defintely a long-term project.


Anyway, that is the update of my life as a postgraduate student. Tune in next time when I trace my hand and draw a chicken, and learn to write my name.

Validation through Insultation

I finally made it. See, when I started out this year to write for our student magazine, I had to try have an edge. Blandness and politeness just gets lost in a free student magazine. So, in every column I've written I try to insert a couple of lines that could be taken the wrong way. Of course this is done in satire, but you always hope that someone will actually get angry about it. Well, mission accomplished. This is an actual letter to the editor about a recent column I wrote:

Dear Ed

I had the misfortune of having a spare hour this dreary Wednesday morning and made a poor choice in filling it in by picking up a copy of Canta. I see nothing has changed since I last performed this pantomime of enjoying a little intelligent "literature". I am so glad that Ruben VM sees his writing for what it it really is- uninformative. I find it ironic that his "column" (I use this term loosely) attempts to take the mickey out of the less well endowed (brain wise, I mean) when he clearly cannot understand the concept of wit. I would only like to advise him that intelligence and getting a degree are two very different things. Being intelligent enough to understand a joke is clearly something he is incapable of. "Self-service with a smile" for a do-it-yourself carwash is a witty and inspired tagline. Witty and inspiring are two words I would not use to describe his writing, which smacks of the same pompous, holier-than-thou attitude of a law student.

Fuck you Ruben VM, the only stupid one is you.

Wow, I really struck a nerve there. I decided not to reply, because there is no way I could convince someone this angry that the column was actually a commentary on the apparent pride many have in the deintellectualification of society, and the permissive attitude others have towards it.
But the comment was too good not to share. I'll let you guys be the judge. This is the article that elicited the response.
http://canta.co.nz/columns/on-stupidity/

Either way, I feel I have somehow been validated as a student columnist. There are only a few more issues left this school year, so let's see if I can't do some more damage.

It's all about Presentation

A few weeks back I had a 1-hour presentation. The topic I chose was to compare Mt Fuji and Mt Taranaki in art. Now, I can crap on about Japanese art for as long as I want, but the New Zealand side is sorely lacking. That's why I needed another approach. Even if the content isn't great, I can still make it look good. In this way I'm like the popstar who spends more time doing yoga and dieting than practicing singing, or the salesman who spends all of his money on teethwhitening products instead of being a greasy piece of shit. And that's the valuable lesson I have learnt at University this year.

In my slideshow, I used hundreds of images of artworks that show the two mountains, but I also made some up myself using my rudimentary photoshop skills. I spent literally hours on these, so that's why I want to get the full mileage out of them. These images are ones I used to explain the many similarities between the two mountains.



The complete nerds out there will get the reference to Street Fighter VS. It has nothing to do with the presentation, but I figure if there's an opportunity to reference an arcade game that I never actually played, you do it.

This is where I be all scientific and explain the geological formations of the two mountains. Note the explosion at the back, which was actually a nuclear bomb. I guess I was being a little overdramatic.

A simple photoshop, I know. I just love the satelite photo of the nreal perfect circle of Taranaki national park, because it's like New Zealand's Great Wall of China - except you can actually see it from space.

Clouds are great for photoshopping. That is all.

Of course, if anything is important, it will be replicated on currency.

Lastly, here's a fancy graph. Because no sleazy presentation is complete withou a fancy graph. I could have given you all the one-hour presentation, but I think the lessons learnt through these photoshops were by far the most valuable.