I want to be serious for a moment. This is an anecdote from over seven years ago, and I keep thinking back to it. It sums up so much of what I can't explain in human words.
See, it was back when I was 16 years old, and it was my school trip to Japan. It was before I fell in love with being a Japan cynic. We went to various significant Japanese cultural centres to teach us the importance of history, human relations, and about ourselves. For example, I learnt that karaoke is fun, as long as no-one else is singing. I learnt that traveling to the oppoosite side of Tokyo takes a little bit longer than 30 minutes. I learnt that folding paper cranes can bring world peace and that Hiroshima doesn't glow anymore. I learnt that sharing an ice-cream or everyone using their own chopsticks in a communal bowl won't necessarily give you meningitis. I learnt that you should never visit theme parks in a group of odd numbers.
"Oh, it's okay, I will go on this ride by myself this time. You two have fun." (repeat at every single ride.)
Although I would never have admitted it at the time, it was a very educational trip. Perhaps the most valuable lesson however, was when I saw Mickey Mouse. I presume that this was when we went to Disneyland, but well, actually, I don't remember precisely. He is so popular that it could have been anywhere in Japan. (even Hiroshima).
At some stage, I was looking at all the characters. These same characters I watched in New Zealand every saturday morning before tennis practices. Goofy, Pluto, Donald, Minnie, Daisy and Mickey. Then Mickey opened his fat head and his whiney little voice came out. And I couldn't understand anything. It was disorienting. I turned to whoever I was with at the time, and I said:
"Mice don't speak Japanese. They speak English." I was dead serious.
I knew it was a funny thing that I accidentally said, but I have never been able to let go of this idea. I think many people also feel the same way. I once had a heated argument with a Japanese person about what language animals speak. I have looked at hundreds of dogs and wondered what language they speak. 'If only you spoke Engish'.
I have even looked at non-domesticated animals in Japan and felt that they speak English. I think children are so raised on animal cartoons, that even as adults, we expect them to be able to speak... Our language. This is especially true in Japan, where government addresses are made by fluffy, googly-eyed Koala bears, but even in western countries. The penguin epic documentary movie 'March of the Penguins' was voiced over in French is an overboard example. Just look at any "family movie", and there will always be a talking animal. We are educated so ignorantly, when animals are easier to understand than foreigners.
Why not visit Athens Disneyland, coming soon to you in the old Olympic village? Mickey says: "Γειά σου, είμαι ποντίκι εμπαιγμών και ζω στην Αθήνα! Είμαι ένας από τους λίγους ζωικούς χαρακτήρες κινουμένων σχεδίων που φορά τα εσώρουχα. Whoopee!"In my defence, out of the Disney Chracters, I always liked Pluto the best. And for Warner Bros, I liked Cyote and Road Runner, and Speedy Gonzalez (who I couldn't understand anyway.) Also, our family raised Yuki, our border collie bilingually. For example, it knows the word for "ball" in English, and "ball" in Dutch. She knows every command in both languages, and many words from conversations. Still, this is a lesson that I wish everybody could experience for themselves. Go to Toyko Disneyland, or Taiwan Disneyland, or wait a few years and go to Hong Kong Disneyland.
In the meantime, I found a Silimarity that is hard to spot. These are two pictures of red striped terrapins. They are both where the owners originally thought, "Wow, turtles make excellent pets. Okay honey, you can keep it if you promise to feed it." and then later thought, "I think I am going to dump this crappy pet in a ditch. Yes my friends. Excuse the pun, but these are runaway turtles. One photo is from Holland, and one from Japan. You know, for all the distance between these turtles, you just know that if they ever met, they would hump like rabbits. Because sometimes, the best language is no language at all.
"You know, Raphael, sometimes I feel like you never listen to me, like you are only with me for the sex"
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