First off, my absence from writing here has mainly to do with the fact that I am unemployed and homeless.
This leads us neatly onto today's posting: other things that don't have homes. Wildlife. Sukkels.
Now, I know there are many words that often come after "Dutch", like "wife", "oven", "date", "brownie", "pile driver"*, etc. However, two words you don't expect to hear after "Dutch" are "safari" and "wildlife".
In fact, Holland is so deprived of authentic wildlife, that they imagine all sorts of wildlife to be living in the mushroom-filled woods.
Creepy huh? Why is thhe boy with the flower in his hair humping the ground? And by the way, I really hope that guy in the background is a mushroom. And no, I cannot make it stop. Just read on.So, just yesterday after dinner I went with the parents to a park. It was actually a hunting reserve for the royal family, but now for 9 months of the year, it is open to the public. (The other three months of the year is a "rest period" for the animals, during which they can mate, fight, and avoid being shot at by blue-bloods. Ironic, that's almost my ideal get-away too)
So, we took a nice walk along car tyre tracks. I wasn't expecting to see much more than mushrooms. (It is supposed to be a good year for "shroomers"). However, the path got smaller, and this is what we saw:
At first, I only saw its tail, and I stupidly said "Is it a donkey?". I mean, this was a Dutch Safari, which I presumed would basically be the same as a petting zoo. But no, it was a wild boar. It had obviously heard us walking, but we saw the moment that it realised we were looking at it. There were also at least three smaller baby swines (Swinelets? Anybody? No? Forget I said anything), two of which you can see to the left of the tree. After half a minute of staring at each other, they all ran away, including another adult.
We continued on, uphill... Yes, uphill. In Holland. It was so strange to finally arrive at this 180 degree view on a vast plain. We spotted a small species of deer grazing relatively close to us, but disappointingly, even with stalker-quality binoculars, there was nothing else to see. Until, this.
Through the binoculars, we clearly saw a large group of deer walking to their grazing spot, including a buck who I would be proud to have on my wall. (I decided, both sides of the wall - head on one side, and ass on the other). There was at least 13 in the main group, and also a group of swine grazing nearby too.
Okay, maybe objectively, this seems like a lame safari, but I just want to dispel some misconceptions about the Netherlands, so that I can enjoy reinforcing them again at a later stage.Bonus:
While in the small German town of Rheine, we saw this ridiculously cute eekhoorn (squirrel).
It was right behind the main chuch on the main square, and it had an acorn in its mouth. I just wanted to cuddle it. I'm not afraide of rabies - it is almost a rite of passage for the homeless.*"Dutch pile driver" is not actually a known term. As far as I know. But don't let this stop you from thinking about it and ruining your appetite.
No comments:
Post a Comment