For those of you who thought that my previous job of auditing tyres (fancy speak for "copying down the writing on tyres") was rather simple, well, my next job is ten times more brain numbingly easy. This time I'm a traffic surveyor.
For me "surveyor" connotes those people with the fancy tripod and equipment who always look as engaged as a roadworker yet have the unmistakable air of self-importance knowing that most people couldn't even begin to comprehend how their equipment works.
No, what I do is I count pedestrians. I don't even get to count cars. The only equipment I was given was the forms to be filled in - I had to supply my own pen and watch. In fact, I think the only qualifications needed for this job were that you had to own a pen and a watch.
For a whole week I am stationed at two locations during the morning and midday 'rush hours'. The first location is at the Hobson Street overbridge.
View Larger Map
This apparently used to be one of the most expensive streets in Wellington (it was written on a nearby neglected History Walk signboard that I have read hundreds of times out of sheer boredom).
The fact it is an overbridge means that I have all the advantages of noise pollution, while above I have very little to do.
Nowadays, Hobson Street is rarely used by foot-traffic. I get maybe one or two people passing by every minute, which leaves the mind to wander a lot, which is not a good thing if you have the quality of being me.
For example it has a garden for the blind. This sounds good, but the garden actually looks like crap. I guess that might be the whole point, but it means that if nature calls, I can't exactly duck behind the lavender to take a piss. That would be like telling a devout Hindu that a Big Mac is made from 100% soy.
Furthermore, right across from the road where I stand is the German Embassy. I'm basically staking out the Germans. As a Dutchman, it makes me feel dirty and I like it.
When I finish my morning shift, I have three hours to kill to my next shift. Note, that I do not get paid for this down time despite it being far too short to make going home worthwhile. So in reality, for 7 hours of my life I get paid for only 4. That's one hell of a long toilet break.
My 2nd shift is right outside the Supreme Court of New Zealand.
This buidling may look like the winning entry for a primary-school architecture competition but it is in fact a very serious building. So serious that it is where protesters come to bang pots almost every single day. Today I had to tally up a bunch of people wearing hi-res vests with the controversial words "stop child abuse" printed on it. These people are really going out on a limb. Taking a stance against child abuse is like saying Hitler was bad or that mothers are good. Someone needs to tell these people that the industrial revolution was a few centuries ago. Or you know, they could be at home with their kids instead of waving placards and writing crap on the pavement with chalk. But whatever, they seem to be having fun, and it's more fun here to watch them instead of wondering if there is a guy in the German embassy nervously looking out the window at me.
Besides, nothing much can bother you when you are wearing headphones. It's the universal signal to everyone that I don't want to talk to you, which I almost always don't. Coupled with sunglasses, I'm practically immortal. And I guess it's a pretty sweet job to be paid to listen to your MP3 for four hours per day. I've been listening to podcasts from The Bugle (John Oliver from The Daily Show) which is hilarious. So picture me sitting on the stairs of the supreme court, looking at people, writing stuff down and grinning and frequently laughing like a maniac. Add to that the fact that I was coming down with a cold and looked like crap, I probably fit right in in front of the Supreme Court ("Down with Slavery!").
But I guess it's good to be working even if it's doing practically the same thing as I when I was in intermediate school and we did a survey, only now I have an MP3 player and I get paid. I really can't decide if this job is crap or really great.
The whole point of this post however, is to make an announcement. For the next two days (Wed & Thurs), there will be a limited edition gift for those readers who stop by to say hi. Yes, you'll get a gift and be tallied rendering you statistically significant! It's a win-win! 7-9 at Hobson Street Overbridge, and 12-2 at the Supreme court. Be in while stocks last!
No comments:
Post a Comment