Part 1: before the beginning

As you may be aware, I am Dutch (please hold your applause, pity, or insults until later). I've often blamed many things on this curious fact. Such as: being more vulnerable to the harsh rays of the sun than an ice cube (not the rapper, but an actual ice cube). Anyway, my point is, I've never really known what being Dutch means. Is it some exclusive club, or is it something (like Catholicism) that to many people doesnt mean anything unless there is a very special occasion (your own funeral)?

This is one reason why I am soon embarking on a journey to the other side of the world; to meet family I never knew, to rediscover the rich culture, and to find the meaning of being Dutch, all without spending very much.

Ha, the classic Dutch joke. But seriously, I really hope that the "tight-ass" dutch stereotype is a false one, because I will be in Holland over the all important Christmas season, and I have 17 years of Christmas presents to redeem. Lets just say that, atop of my wishlist is "a large suitcase to haul back my loot."

Of course there are several other reasons for going to Holland. These include, but are not limited to:

• Avoiding the sun's harsh cancer-causing rays in the southern hemisphere
• I would rather be unemployed in Europe than unemployed in New Zealand
• To experience the excitement and pleasures of international travel, customs and long distance flights (including a 14 hour flight, during which time, exacly one meal will be served. I may have to resort to eating other passengers. Hopefully we will be flying over the airspace of a country where cannibalism is legal. China for example)
• To relearn the Dutch language, and the subtle nuances of meaning (for example, the almost imperceptable difference between "I'm going to sleep in tomorrow" or "I'm going to die tomorrow").
• To have something to write about again.

After a year in Japan it became clear that a simple change of scenery is all it that is needed to see things in a whole different light, and blind everyone I knew with it. Not wishing to repeat the "inbox abuse", for which I may one day be put to trial for (after Suddam is let off on a "technicallity"), I've set up this web log (or, apparently, as its known by trekkies and similar peoples: a "blog"). Although I may be of the computer generation, my technical expertise stops at bashing a pair of batteries together to get a few more hours of life out of them (try it, it really does work). So this whole weblog business is pretty overwhelming. Its quite embarrassing considering that my father has already made his own website. But I've realised that, gone are the days of the bulk mail: the crying baby that noone feeds or changes.

So, here I will write of my travels, and I will also endevour to educate about the wonderful country that most people know as "Danish-land". This shows the level of misunderstanding about my home country, which is of course called "Dutchland". So tune in as I am disowned (voted off) by different family members every week, and armed with an almighty B.A. degree take on the country which found New Zealand but decided to hurry back home. If that is any indication, Holland will be a great two months.