There comes a time in every young devotee's life when they have to make a journey of he highest of importance; failure to do so will close the doors of salvation. For me it isn't going to bathe in a river with a few million of my closest friends, or going on a crusade, and don't worry, I haven't joined a wierd Dutch cult. My journey was to go to the Van Gogh museum, the sistine chapel of post-impressionism. I'm not going to crap on about how incredibly fantastic it was because I know to many people Van Gogh's paintings are nothing more than pretty designs for coffee mugs. But to an art nerd like myself... lets just say I wasn't dissappointed.
For me, that is the great thing about Holland, and I assume, the rest of Europe. It is so art-minded. I won't start an argument by saying that New Zealand doesn't have art. I'm sure there are many wonderful artists. But over here it starts from the bottom. Children are actually taught handwriting and drawing at schools. There are museums in every town, and the tradition goes back hundreds of years. Van Gogh would be a colonial artist in New Zealand, but over here he is modern. This is not to say that all art in Holland is good art. There is a fair share of art that is a pile of crap. One such pile of crap is called "Mother Earth", which is (excuse the euphamisms) giant mounds of earth in the form of a female body. Parts are covered with bushes and trees, and you are invited explore, perhaps while walking your dog. The brochure invites you to "enjoy the view" from the forehead, at a dizzying altitude of 5 metres. Sure, it's winter; it was muddy and the flowers weren't in bloom, but it seems to me that an art school graduate was trying a little bit too hard here.
Anyways, as I was saying... The Van Gogh Museum is located in Amsterdam. So I went to Amsterdam. Most tourists have a very different reason for going to Amsterdam. And it is a tourist town. But there is so much more to Amsterdam than just coffee shops. They also have souvinir shops. The amount of souvinir shops is baffling. Amsterdam has such a high concentration of tacky souvinirs that it affects life expectancy.
Note: Before I got on, I must admit that my commentary is not exactly balanced. Being from Rotterdam (Feyenoord) I have been raised to hate Amsterdam (Ajax). I haven't personally been in an organised fight, but I was happy to hear that Ajax lost 4-1 on the weekend.
Amsterdam also has 1402 cafes and bars, and 755 restaurants. This means that in a city of just 700,000 Amsterdammers either can't cook or are to lazy to. Just like they would rather buy a good soccer player than develop one, they would rather eat out. I also had some encounters with the locals. Most of them asked me for loose change, and the other offered to sell me drugs. Being from small-town New Zealand I am so naiive. I just saw a black guy smile, so I smiled back, thinking "hello friendly negro!". But then he followed me muttering in bad English words like "good stuff", "speed" and "herion". He must have confused me for an American tourist. It wasn't his fault either, there are more Americans in Amsterdam than in Iraq. Too soon? But it's so bad that English is basically the first language there.
But apart from the people, Amsterdam is a beautiful city. I really enjoyed wandering around the streets, alongside the canals, past magnificent buildings, houseboats, bridges, monuments, markets... all the while clutching my camera bag incase one of the local drug addicts needed a hit. It was a little bit pathetic going to Amsterdam on my own. Not as pathetic as going to Paris on your own, but then I wouldn't know of many people who could spend 4 hours at the Van Gogh Museum anyways. So that was a very exciting adventure, but not as exciting as...
Going to the Customs and Taxes museum. No, I'm not making this up. It does exist, and I went along. Probably because it was free (although, isn't it slightly ironic how a tax museum is free? It sounds a little bit suspect to me).
And I also visited the Maritime Museum. Rotterdam has the largest sea port in the world, and boating is part of the Dutch mentality. This museum visit was my preparation for my next big adventure. Living out a childhood dream. I was an honorary sailor for a weekend.
I joined my Uncle and his crew as we sailed inland through Holland to deliver 1250 tonnes of coconut oil in Dusseldorf, Germany. I know this may sound like a far-fetched story. Sailing inland to Germany, and how we got coconuts in Holland (maybe an African Swallow brought it over, except they are non-migratory...). But it was a fantastic way to see the real Holland... And Germany. Holland is a nation of trade, and the 5000km of navigable inland waterways are the lungs of the country. All the important towns have always been along the rivers, I don't think there was a point during the 20 hour trip where a church spire wasn't visible. We sailed past at a leisurely-but-fast-for-a-boat pace of 12-18 kmph. From the control room you got beautiful views of harbours and ports and other boats. And the typical Dutch scenery of small towns, fields with cows, a nuclear powerplant that has been turned into a family amusement park, and a nude powerwalker on the riverbank. Okay, I'm kidding: the powerplant and powerwalker were of course in Germany.
It was a great, and unusual trip. It's strange to think that I went all the way to Dusseldorf, spent the night there, but never set foot in Germany. I wasn't sad about that, I enjoyed having sea legs. The life of a sailor is far from the world of the Van Gogh museum and the Customs and Taxes museum, but Holland is filled with adventures.
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