The Even Greater Tokyo Region

BabelDutch

Admission: The following post is written by a childish Ruben in Dutch, and translated with the aid of Babelfish, the online translation program. (Italics are English)

Thus, many people question me or I well Dutch can talking. Or I everything on TV understand, or if I can write well. It is Difficult a thing exactly, say because there is no real level where I sit on. Everything that I know in the Dutch are to my sometimes Nazi grateful--like parents. Then we at home were, a house rule was that was prohibited English. Was extremely annoying, and I a lot of time has had sentence for when I English spoke.

I mean, because Dutch always my language was in the house, most things is easy for concerning at talking. What is for evening meal? what I you done today? I can it car has tomorrow? No? Why not? Ya, but (brother) had used it today! That is not honest! Why do you hate me? Ya but, I I, no goeie… goddammit. Listen to me. No! No! Ya but I must go there for... Okay FUCK OFF! I' ll go to my room by myself, thanks you very much. Good fucking night, and thanks!

I entirely never Dutch have taken lesson, I never look at Dutch TV if film then I lived in new sea country. I had no Dutch friends, and the children who it was possible, however, it will be simply stupid for with each other in Dutch at talking. It was not be nice for differently. Neither with my brother, even now, he feel simply strange for in and other language at talking then English. Thus, I used Dutch actual only measured my parents. Plus, I was for two three years in Japan, with perhaps telephone each couple of weekends. There never this way much chance was for Dutch at talking. But, it goes. I have to no problem follow an interlocution, or to teleview. Sometimes, if it concerns economy, or of the foreigner is to talking, know I not entirely where concerns, but in context, it a problem is not.

But write, ordinary… yes, how can am I best say? It feels just like if I am really stupid. Just like or I to school have not gone. That I have things in my head who not come. I feel almost as demented… I know that there a better word for that is. Gestilijke… It is this way…!!!!


Okay, that actually makes me look incredibly stupid. But I swear, some of that is Babelfish's fault. I don't agree with translation. Things must be interpreted, not translated.

The point is, I am finding it difficult to judge where I am with my language ability here. On the one hand, I hardly ever have to stop a conversation because I can't follow. Sure, sometimes I like to clarify a certain word that comes up frequently. I wrote this last time I came to Holland, but it does feel like I have had been shot in the head, and I am trying to rewire my brain around the things I have lost. Then I will kung-fu fight Lucy Liu to the death.

Even in small social situations, I am even more awkward than usual. The language isn't the problem, as much as the subtle nuances of how to use it. When I buy something at a shop, I hardly say a word. What am I supposed to say? Would it be wierd to say "here you are", when I hand over the money? Am I thinking too much? Oh shit, I just dropped my change. Evacuate before you look like a fool!

One thing I have noticed is that Dutch people speak from their intestines. My god, they belt out their sentences, as if they have all been trained in the Opera. Especially coming from Japan, where people are meeker than a gay kitten, this is going to be an adjustment for me. But in general, I can dance around the words I don't know or am not comfortable in using.

Writing, however, is the zinger. See, I have never been very good at speaking. Or, at least, I try not to speak too much. It has never been so important to me. I like to be compact with what I say. That's why, I prefer writing. The written word is a glorious thing. "I think with my pen"s is my motto. I have a stack of Diaries that document every boring day of my life since 7 1/2 years ago. (They are very boring. They usually say things like: "I went ___ and I write for a while. Then I went home and wrote some more...").

What I am saying is, I define myself as someone who writes a lot, and in Holland that doesn't mean so much. Apparently, my Dutch writing sounds like I am South African. (This is supposed to be a jesty-insult), so I have a lot to work on. Just living here isn't enough. Watching TV isn't enough. I have a notebook where I write down unknown words I come across and look them up later, but even that might not be enough.

I guess you can't have it both ways. When I was in New Zealand, no-one ever considered me to be Dutch. I wanted it to be somehow obvious. In Japan, I wanted to blend in completely, like a leaf-shaped insect. In Holland, I can't decide which way I want to go yet. Hopefully I can decide soon, and express it in my "interlocution"...